Love... It's stupid, right? When things started to feel okay or alright, it all crumbled down right before your eyes. And that man or woman you love so deeply just walked out without even bothering to fight for this thing called "love". Without even bothering to fight for you. Without even bothering to fight for that "us".
So, what do you do now?
Oh, wait. That's right. You move on.
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You'll need a list of things before we get started.
Here's what I suggest:
✓ Hobbies
✓ Friends
✓ Alcohol
✓ Cellphone
✓ Empty room
✓ Laptop
✓ Paper and pen
✓ Prayer book / Rosary / Altar / Anything from your religion
✓ Self-determination (We can't start without this!!)
Okay, let's start...
1. Cry
I'm serious. You just cry it all out and there is absolutely nothing wrong about it -- even if you're a man. The first few days won't be easy. You'll cry a lot of times per day. You'll cry when you're just sitting in class while listening to a professor. You'll cry when you're in a mall. You'll cry whenever a memory of him/her surges through your head. You'll cry while listening to a song that makes you remember. You'll cry whenever you're in bed right before you sleep. You'll cry when you look at pictures or messages.
You will cry a lot and those tears won't be forever. Day by day, the times that you cry will lessen until you'll stop crying at all and the only thing left is that pain you'll feel in your heart. Don't be afraid to shed those tears. It is not a sign of weakness.
2. Delete old photos and messages
When you feel that it's time and you're very much determined to move on...It's time to delete old messages and photos. You don't have to do it all at once. You can start with some photos or some messages and the time will come when you'll have to delete all of it.
These photos and messages will only make things harder for you to move on. You'll continue to view photos and read messages and you'll remember all the good things and blah blah blah. So, delete it. It's for your own good.
3. Stop stalking him/her
Oh trust me, it's not good for you. If you keep checking his/her Twitter or Facebook or Instagram, you'll continue to have this attachment and it's not gonna stop the pain you feel in your heart. It's gonna make things worse. Whenever you see whatever or however he/she is doing, you'll start to feel the pain growing within. And the process of moving on is going to slow down.
Stop stalking him/her! Unfollow if you must. And don't even think about asking about him/her through your mutual friends. Just. Don't.
4. Surround yourself with friends
One of the reasons why you have friends is that they'll be there when you are at your lowest. If they're not, then they're not true friends! Your friends will help you get distracted. They'll be there to accompany you in doing random things like shout at the top of a building or play in the arcade the whole day. Friends will say a lot of inspirational quotes like "There are many fishes in the sea" or "When one door closes, another opens." And you'll feel relieved that you have weird friends like them to help you cope.
True friends will also be there to amplify your feelings or will be the first ones to notice the little things. They'll be the ones who are angry and shouting at the person and would even make up plans to hurt him/her. They'll be the one to remember that the song affects you. They'll be the one to notice that someone mentioned your ex's name. Whenever someone mentions his/her name, they'll look at you and expect that you're going to cry. But they're your true friends. They mean no harm.
5. Drink
Yes, I am really suggesting this but please, don't drink too much that you'll turn yourself into an alcoholic. Drink for the first few weeks. Drink 2-3 bottles per week only and remember to have someone sober with you to take you home if you're too drunk to drive or even walk.
Drinking is a natural ineffective coping mechanism of a person. People will understand if you drink when a problem comes, just as long as it'll gradually stop and you'll find your own way to deal with shit. Alcohol is not a permanent solution!
6. Distract yourself through hobbies
Another way to distract yourself is to get a hobby. You can continue your old hobby or go and try a new one. You can get a guitar and make music (because seriously, who doesn't love music?). You can try and mix songs. You can try sketching or painting. You can go get your laptop and start typing poems or stories. You can even collect weird items just so you can forget.
Hobbies will help you realize that there are fun things to do that just sulk around all day in hopes that he/she will come back even though you're sure that they won't. I'm not being cold, but it's the reality. Hobbies can also be your outlet whenever you need to release negative vibes within you.
7. Pray
You may not be religious or you don't believe in God, but it wouldn't hurt to try. Go to an isolated or empty room and take with you a rosary or prayer book or whatever religious/sacred thing you know. Stay in that room and start to pray, even in your head. But sometimes talking really helps.
Praying helps clear your mind and sometimes you may start to cry. For me, that's God's way to help you release the pain you've been keeping inside. After praying, you'll feel lighter and you'll start to think clearly. You may or may not realize that maybe God has a different plan for you and that he/she isn't for you and that you have to wait a little longer. Maybe God made you undergo through this because He wants you to learn from this and make you stronger or even become a better person for that future man/woman that you're destined to be with.
8. List down advantages
Go get a paper
and pen and write down the advantages of being single. No disadvantages because it'll only lead to negativity.
Sometimes,
we're too hurt to realize that there may be advantages of what is happening. What if you were too blind to realize that you've been
hurting and you just love him/her too much to let go? What if you didn't
realize that you've been crying a lot recently? What if you weren't
happy anymore?
Isn't it great to realize that maybe things happened so that you could be happy again? That maybe you could find love again?
Forget about what I said awhile ago about love being stupid. It's not. You'll only say that love is stupid and you've given up on love when your heart is breaking into bits. But when it is completely healed, you will find someone. And although you're scared, you will take that risk again because in your heart, you know that it's worth it.
If it doesn't work out, maybe you just chose the wrong person. Maybe he/she's not "Mr/Ms. Right" yet.
(Please bear in mind that what I have listed are my opinions only. It's up to you if you're gonna give it a try or what)
